Asking The Right Questions

We make decision everyday in our lives. Some are trivial stuff like what to eat for breakfast in the morning; which gym membership to join; which movie to watch etc. While there are some major decisions we also have to make at some point in our lives such as where to buy a house; when to get serious in relationship; right time to have kids; career change; which country to migrate to etc.

Every decision we make has impact on our lives. If we make decision emotionally without making sure that it aligns with our core values; we may find ourselves regret eventually. For example, if your belief is that everyone must have equal opportunity but you live in a country where people are treated differently based on the colours of their skin; and you are in no position to change the situation because you are not in politics; so you said to yourself what if you migrate to another country. The idea sounds great to you initially when you imagine the new life that you are going to have; the greener pasture overseas; the better schools and infrastructure; better pay and so on. You started to feel excited. 

But migrate to a foreign land is a big decision after all. And all sorts of emotion crops up in you. You are fearful of leaving behind the life you are used to; you are sad to leave behind your friends and relative; you are unsure whether you can get a job in your new adopted country. In the end, we may decided to stay put at where you are. This is a decision made emotionally which contradicts to your core value. You continue to build up resentment by living in an unfair society that you feel uncomfortable with and life goes on.  

It's true that migrating to a whole new world is a huge risk. But it is also a risk that brings new opportunity at the same time. Chinese words always manifest great wisdom considering that they are the only civilization that still survive today for 5,000 years! The word 危機 (wei ji) means crisis. But it does not mean doom and gloom solely. The first word 危 means danger while the second word 機; guess what it means........it means opportunity. In every danger situation there is always an opportunity.

Take the stock market for example. Many people buy stock when they see that it is rising in value. But it is exactly this mistake that causes so many people lose money. Because whatever goes up has to come down. The best time to buy stock is when the stock prices of good companies reach rock bottom because it is like they are on sale! But people don't buy it. Why? Because they fear that the prices may get even lower.

So you see how we constantly make decisions emotionally instead of thinking it through by analyzing the situation rationally.

To ensure that we don't continue to make choices in our lives emotionally which will cause us suffering down the track; we have to start asking the right questions.

Take the common decisions most people have to make; changing a job. Most people will ask the following question:

• What if people are not as nice to me in the new company compare to the current one?
• What if I cannot handle the new responsibilities?
• What if the new company is not stable?

Do you see what the above three questions do to your mind? They have one thing in common; they are all assumptions which does not based on any facts whatsoever. In fact they are merely assumptions that people come up with when they are lack of confidence and fearful.

One thing is for sure, the fact that people consider to change job is because they are not happy nor satisfy with their current work place; it is a fact; not an assumptions. So the right questions to ask will be:

• Will I acquire new skills at the new place?
• Is there opportunity to step into bigger role?
• Will my salary increase?
• Will I feel more fulfilled career wise?
• Will it help in my career path down the track? 

These are far more constructive questions that will get your mind working to come up with a better decision for you. We all want to feel like we are growing. The worst situation anyone can be is to stay still in the same place for long period of time. 

Emotions cloud our mind. We must maintain a clear thinking process when comes to making big decisions in our lives. We have to ask ourselves correct questions that can help us get there. Constantly searching for solutions to our problems and start taking control over our lives. May GOD bless you.