Compassionate Pragmatist

Every decision we made comes from our value system within us. If we are a compassionate person, we often find ourselves making decision emotionally. On the other hand if we are a pragmatic individual, every decision that we make must have been carefully thought through in terms of the potential benefits in return.

The question is what type of person are you when it comes to consider a job change. If you are a pragmatist, you will immediately accept a job offer if it promises you a 20% raise in salary. But if you are the compassionate one, then the decision process becomes not that simple. You would perhaps feel sorry for your current employer because he has trained you up to a certain level and you ditch him. You could potentially even turn down an increase of 20% offer. 

An idealist would like to believe that this is a world full of love and compassion. That if we are loyal to our employer, we will get rewarded eventually. Maybe you are the lucky one who has employer like that. But we have to constantly remind ourselves that we are living in a very commercialize world especially if you are working in the private sector. All the employers concern about is the profit margin at the end of the day.

So to come back to that question, if you are the compassionate one, how should you decide. I guess the answer really depends on the circumstances. If you are the longest serving employee in the company, the boss is really nice to you but you haven't got a salary review for more than a year. In the mean time, other employees who just joined the company got promoted and have pay rise. Do you think you still want to feel bad for your boss? No doubt he is really nice to you, but if he really appreciate your loyalty and effort; then your review shouldn't be deferred.

We live in a very materialistic world where sincere human relationship is a rarity. The world we live in is filled with people who are concern more on personal gain than to help each other for better good of the whole. I've even seen people who proclaim themselves to be devoted religious person; but their behaviour clearly shows that they are selfish and do not care for others.

The sad truth is sometimes we are forced to bit just a little bit pragmatic when it comes to decisions made in a commercialize world. Because if we don't, we will just be an outcast to that society. The only way to survive in this world without compromising our conscience and inner value is to try our best not to hurt others in our quest for a decent living. 

Modern society has taught us to focus on ourselves. That we are smart, we can conquer nature, we can step on the moon so on and so forth. We have magnify ourselves and forgot that we are as tiny as a grain of sand in the great universe. We are not great and therefore we ought to be humble and remind ourselves that there is greater being out there watching us. Regardless of which religion you belong to, we all believe that there is GOD watching us irrespective of whatever names that we wish to call it. 

At the end of the day, whatever happen to us is insignificant in the context of the entire world. Even the greatest leaders came and gone. We won't be here forever. It is therefore important that we live life fully in this limited time that we have. 

So why think so much for your boss if you have a better offer. At the end of the day, you are just one of the chess pieces on the board game. Nobody is indispensable. You will not get an award for being loyal. Soon you will be forgotten. The most important thing is that you have contributed during your time in the company and that is enough. You have sacrificed valuable time to work in the office; you have traded your time for money. So don't feel as if you have committed a crime by hopping to another company. This is just business. Everybody has a price and they will go where the right price is.

So are you the compassionate one or a pragmatist? I think the answer is obvious. 

Appreciate The Small Stuff

Have you ever been to a restaurant on weekend and waited at the counter to get a table? After 15 minutes (although it felt like forever) the waitress finally appear (you have been wondering where has she been all this while) and lead you to your table. It then take another 10 minutes (you feel like time has stop for some reason) for the same waitress to come and take your order. You then thought you can now relax and wait for your wonderful meal. You felt great that your order is recorded and food is on its way. You feel relax and started pleasant conversation with your company. Suddenly the conversation becomes less enthusiastic, you feel less comfortable as you start to wonder why your food is still not here after you have been chatting with your friends for 30 minutes. Your mind starts to fill you in with all sorts of negative hypothetical possibilities like whether your order has been passed on to the kitchen; whether your order has accidentally dropped on the floor or they have run out of food! You feel restless and you don't even want to have any conversation with your pals at all, all you are thinking is where is your food! Eventually the food comes but since you are in such an angry state you can't enjoy the meal at all. For all you know you will be cursing the dining experience for the rest of the evening!

Didn't all of us at some point in our life experience the above episode before? It may occur to some more than others. But if you think about it calmly, it is not the restaurant or the waitress or the chef that made you feel mad. It is YOU yourself that contribute to that bad experience. It is all too common that we tend to focus on the negative side of things that happen to us. That focus is so prevalent and all encompassing that we can't see any good in life. 

If we are to be happy for the rest of our lives we have to change that inherent bad habit. We have to start training our mind to search for good in everything including bad experiences. Yes, even there is good in bad things!!!

This morning after I washed my dishes I placed them on the draining basket. Underneath it is the standard stainless draining tray. I thought what a wonderful and simple idea to drain all the water from the plates and bowls. Just leave them there overnight and let gravity do the work! There was a sudden joy that I felt. It was just a good feeling that things are working the way they should.

There are many more things in life that we can feel grateful for. For example the beautiful stars that paint the sky every night or the sun who doesn't need an alarm clock to 'wake up' every morning. What about the great invention of the car where you can go anywhere by just sitting at the same spot!

It is important to keep training our mind to think in this way. If you want to have fit body you go to the gym. The same principles apply to our mind. If you wish to have a healthy mind you have to train it, exercise it by focusing on the things that can help you achieve your goal and not on negative interpretation that will destroy you.