Asking The Right Questions

We make decision everyday in our lives. Some are trivial stuff like what to eat for breakfast in the morning; which gym membership to join; which movie to watch etc. While there are some major decisions we also have to make at some point in our lives such as where to buy a house; when to get serious in relationship; right time to have kids; career change; which country to migrate to etc.

Every decision we make has impact on our lives. If we make decision emotionally without making sure that it aligns with our core values; we may find ourselves regret eventually. For example, if your belief is that everyone must have equal opportunity but you live in a country where people are treated differently based on the colours of their skin; and you are in no position to change the situation because you are not in politics; so you said to yourself what if you migrate to another country. The idea sounds great to you initially when you imagine the new life that you are going to have; the greener pasture overseas; the better schools and infrastructure; better pay and so on. You started to feel excited. 

But migrate to a foreign land is a big decision after all. And all sorts of emotion crops up in you. You are fearful of leaving behind the life you are used to; you are sad to leave behind your friends and relative; you are unsure whether you can get a job in your new adopted country. In the end, we may decided to stay put at where you are. This is a decision made emotionally which contradicts to your core value. You continue to build up resentment by living in an unfair society that you feel uncomfortable with and life goes on.  

It's true that migrating to a whole new world is a huge risk. But it is also a risk that brings new opportunity at the same time. Chinese words always manifest great wisdom considering that they are the only civilization that still survive today for 5,000 years! The word 危機 (wei ji) means crisis. But it does not mean doom and gloom solely. The first word 危 means danger while the second word 機; guess what it means........it means opportunity. In every danger situation there is always an opportunity.

Take the stock market for example. Many people buy stock when they see that it is rising in value. But it is exactly this mistake that causes so many people lose money. Because whatever goes up has to come down. The best time to buy stock is when the stock prices of good companies reach rock bottom because it is like they are on sale! But people don't buy it. Why? Because they fear that the prices may get even lower.

So you see how we constantly make decisions emotionally instead of thinking it through by analyzing the situation rationally.

To ensure that we don't continue to make choices in our lives emotionally which will cause us suffering down the track; we have to start asking the right questions.

Take the common decisions most people have to make; changing a job. Most people will ask the following question:

• What if people are not as nice to me in the new company compare to the current one?
• What if I cannot handle the new responsibilities?
• What if the new company is not stable?

Do you see what the above three questions do to your mind? They have one thing in common; they are all assumptions which does not based on any facts whatsoever. In fact they are merely assumptions that people come up with when they are lack of confidence and fearful.

One thing is for sure, the fact that people consider to change job is because they are not happy nor satisfy with their current work place; it is a fact; not an assumptions. So the right questions to ask will be:

• Will I acquire new skills at the new place?
• Is there opportunity to step into bigger role?
• Will my salary increase?
• Will I feel more fulfilled career wise?
• Will it help in my career path down the track? 

These are far more constructive questions that will get your mind working to come up with a better decision for you. We all want to feel like we are growing. The worst situation anyone can be is to stay still in the same place for long period of time. 

Emotions cloud our mind. We must maintain a clear thinking process when comes to making big decisions in our lives. We have to ask ourselves correct questions that can help us get there. Constantly searching for solutions to our problems and start taking control over our lives. May GOD bless you.

Compassionate Pragmatist

Every decision we made comes from our value system within us. If we are a compassionate person, we often find ourselves making decision emotionally. On the other hand if we are a pragmatic individual, every decision that we make must have been carefully thought through in terms of the potential benefits in return.

The question is what type of person are you when it comes to consider a job change. If you are a pragmatist, you will immediately accept a job offer if it promises you a 20% raise in salary. But if you are the compassionate one, then the decision process becomes not that simple. You would perhaps feel sorry for your current employer because he has trained you up to a certain level and you ditch him. You could potentially even turn down an increase of 20% offer. 

An idealist would like to believe that this is a world full of love and compassion. That if we are loyal to our employer, we will get rewarded eventually. Maybe you are the lucky one who has employer like that. But we have to constantly remind ourselves that we are living in a very commercialize world especially if you are working in the private sector. All the employers concern about is the profit margin at the end of the day.

So to come back to that question, if you are the compassionate one, how should you decide. I guess the answer really depends on the circumstances. If you are the longest serving employee in the company, the boss is really nice to you but you haven't got a salary review for more than a year. In the mean time, other employees who just joined the company got promoted and have pay rise. Do you think you still want to feel bad for your boss? No doubt he is really nice to you, but if he really appreciate your loyalty and effort; then your review shouldn't be deferred.

We live in a very materialistic world where sincere human relationship is a rarity. The world we live in is filled with people who are concern more on personal gain than to help each other for better good of the whole. I've even seen people who proclaim themselves to be devoted religious person; but their behaviour clearly shows that they are selfish and do not care for others.

The sad truth is sometimes we are forced to bit just a little bit pragmatic when it comes to decisions made in a commercialize world. Because if we don't, we will just be an outcast to that society. The only way to survive in this world without compromising our conscience and inner value is to try our best not to hurt others in our quest for a decent living. 

Modern society has taught us to focus on ourselves. That we are smart, we can conquer nature, we can step on the moon so on and so forth. We have magnify ourselves and forgot that we are as tiny as a grain of sand in the great universe. We are not great and therefore we ought to be humble and remind ourselves that there is greater being out there watching us. Regardless of which religion you belong to, we all believe that there is GOD watching us irrespective of whatever names that we wish to call it. 

At the end of the day, whatever happen to us is insignificant in the context of the entire world. Even the greatest leaders came and gone. We won't be here forever. It is therefore important that we live life fully in this limited time that we have. 

So why think so much for your boss if you have a better offer. At the end of the day, you are just one of the chess pieces on the board game. Nobody is indispensable. You will not get an award for being loyal. Soon you will be forgotten. The most important thing is that you have contributed during your time in the company and that is enough. You have sacrificed valuable time to work in the office; you have traded your time for money. So don't feel as if you have committed a crime by hopping to another company. This is just business. Everybody has a price and they will go where the right price is.

So are you the compassionate one or a pragmatist? I think the answer is obvious. 

Avoiding Financial Risk

Performance reviews are usually being carried out at a specific date annually. It is a platform for employer to access the performance of employees throughout the year. But often people overlook the fact that it is also a chance for the employee to reflect upon whether their expectations are being met by continue working in this company.

My performance review last year was held in April but I didn't get my review in April this year. I was at first verbally informed that it will be held sometime in May. May came and went then June has passed, still no news on the upcoming review. It was then confirmed on the 11th July but only has it cancelled and changed to 13th July. So before even enter into the review, the management has given me a poor impression of their seriousness in looking after their staff. Only a week ago the managing director gave a motivated presentation in front of all the staff of the company reiterating that he wants to ensure that everyone grows together with the company. I still believe his commitment.

I've numerous occasions where people have been trying to ask me to work for them. There was even an offer to increase my salary by 20%! I turned all of them down believing that my loyalty to the current company will pay off. I thought I have made the right decision.

Then came the moment of the review which I have been waiting for more than 2 months. A few of my colleagues who joined the company later than me have all been promoted recently. Some has only just worked for a few months! So I was naturally excited walking into the room knowing that finally my hard work and dedication will be recognized! I was instead taken aback by what I was about to hear. I was told that I haven't been given the right opportunity and platform to shine and will need another 6 months to prove that I'm worth the increment. I felt like I have just been hit by a bus.

I ponder about this incident the whole night and I even asked GOD for guidance. I prayed: "GOD, you know best and there surely is a reason that you put me in this situation. No matter what it is, I believe that you know this will be good for me." 

I went to bed and woke up earlier than usual on a beautiful sunny Saturday morning. Made myself a cup of my favourite Old Town coffee and started writing this blog. My mind is clear as I taste the warmth and sweetness of the Malaysian coffee. I must start doing something about my life.

Most of us have a full time job and it is a blessing considering millions of people are unemployed. And we put aside around 30% of our time per week into our work. If you include another 2 hours per day of mental stress you have when you are not at work but thinking about work related matters, then the percentage would have increase to 35%. That is a huge chunk of valuable time that we are not going to get back. Most of us will also give 100% of our attention to our work. And this is where the risk comes in. 

If there is a lesson to be learnt from my recent review, it is that we are not in control of our financial future if we continue to work for people. I'm lucky that I was only told there will be no increment for the next six months. Others are not so lucky. Some people may be told to pack up and leave just like that when the company 'feels' that you are no longer needed. When you give 100% of your attention and 35% of your time to somebody else's business, you run into a major financial risk.     

We must diversify our income. The reason I'm writing this blog is one way of achieving that. I'm hopeful that my blog will one day become so popular that I can start earning income from it. There are people driving UBER part time and I've heard that some can earn close to $2,000 per week! Tony Robbins tells us that we must start investing portion of our income on a regular basis. 

It is an uphill task to achieve financial freedom, the key is to take the first step. We will never get there if we don't start. If you have a full time job like myself, one way is to take say 2 hours every night to build your business. It could be your blog, podcast, online marketing, run a Airbnb or whatever. We have to slowly reduce our reliance to our full time job so that we can engage ourselves more aggressively in the thing we love to do.

I know I'm going to start today. Hope you will start yours too. Good luck!

Surviving Workplace Politics

"Office politics" are the strategies that people play to gain advantage, personally or for a cause they support. The term often has a negative connotation, in that it refers to strategies people use to seek advantage at the expense of others or the greater good. In this context, it often adversely affects the working environment and relationships within it. Good "office politics", on the other hand, help you fairly promote yourself and your cause, and is more often called networking and stakeholder management.

Perhaps due to the negative connotation, many people see office politics as something very much to be avoided. But the truth is, to ensure your own success and that of your projects, you must navigate the minefield of Office Politics. If you deny the 'bad politics' that may be going on around you, and avoid dealing with them, you may needlessly suffer whilst others take unfair advantage. And if you avoid practising 'good politics', you miss the opportunities to properly further your own interests, and those of your team and your cause.

Why work politics are inevitable:

• Some people have more power than others, either through hierarchy or some other basis of influence.
• For many people, gaining promotion is important, and this can create competition between individuals, or misalignment between the team's objectives and those of individuals within it.
• Most people care passionately about decisions at work and this encourages political behavior as they seek to get their way.
• Decisions at work are impacted by both work-related goals and personal factors, so there is further scope for goal conflict.
• People and teams within organizations often have to compete for limited resources; this can lead to a kind of "tribal conflict" where teams compete to satisfy their needs and objectives, even when this is against the greater good.
  

  Making Politics Work FOR You

  To deal effectively with office politics and use it yourself in a positive way, you must first accept the reality of it. Once you've done this, you then need to develop strategies to deal with the political behavior that is going on around you. The best way to do this is to be a good observer and then use the information you gather to build yourself a strong network to operate in. Here are some tips:

  Re-Map the Organization Chart

  Office Politics often circumvent the formal organization chart. Sit back and watch for a while and then re-map the organization chart in terms of political power.
• Who are the real influencers?
• Who has authority but doesn't exercise it?
• Who is respected?
• Who champions or mentors others?
• Who is "the brains behind the organization"?

Understand the Informal Network

Once you know who's who in the organization, you have a good idea of where the power and influence lay. Now you have to understand the social networks.

• Who gets along with whom?
• Are there groups or cliques that have formed?
• Who is involved in interpersonal conflict?
• Who has the most trouble getting along with others?
• What is the basis for the interrelationship? Friendship, respect, manipulation?
• How does the influence flow between the parties?

Build Relationships

Now that you know how the existing relationships work, you need to build your own social network accordingly.

• Do not be afraid of politically powerful people in the organization. Get to know them.
• Ensure you have relationships that cross the formal hierarchy in all directions (peers, bosses, executives).
• Start to build relationships with those who have the informal power.
• Build your relationships on trust and respect – avoid empty flattery.
• Be friendly with everyone but don't align yourself with one group or another.
• Be a part of multiple networks – this way you can keep your finger on the pulse of the organization.

 Source: Mind Tools

When It Is Time To Change Job

 

Making the decision to change jobs or careers can be scary, especially in the current economy. But at times, it becomes necessary. You can be happy and fulfilled one day, but then circumstances and situations change and you're left wondering why everything suddenly seems to suck . 

If you’re in this situation, your first step should be to do everything you can to remedy your situation before seeking to jump ship. But if you've tried your best and are still unhappy, these signs may point to the fact that it’s time to find a new job.

1. You're Underpaid

Money isn't everything, but you do need to pay your bills. And moreover, you deserve to get adequately rewarded for the work that you do. When you’re just not making the money you need, it can be hard to put in the extra effort to really excel, and it can affect your motivation over the long haul—especially if it’s compounded by other less-than-ideal situations at work. So, if you know you’re being paid significantly less than you deserve—that can be a very good reason to start looking for new opportunities that’ll actually meet your salary needs.

Alternate Options: Do some research and see what people in similar positions are making (considering the cost of living in different locations). And if you truly feel you are due for a raise, ask for it. But if you’re not quite there yet, seek input and feedback from your boss or trusted co-workers on how you can further help the organization and increase your value. Then get to work.

2. You're Undervalued

Doing a great job when no one is there to appreciate it (or even recognize it) is terribly defeating. We all want to be patted on the back every now and then. And working somewhere where you aren’t getting proper recognition is kind of like being in a relationship without affection or attention—you’ll likely start to wonder if you’re valued or even liked. Not only is a place like that de-motivating—but if your boss refuses to acknowledge and commend your accomplishments, that can also be a sign that you’re not going to be promoted or given adequate opportunities to advance. If you truly aren’t appreciated at your current workplace—it may be time to go somewhere else where your contribution is valued.

Alternate Options: Seek to objectively assess your value to the organization. Are you doing work that matters to the functioning of the company? Are you doing it well? What could you be doing to make more of an impact? Look specifically for areas where you think you have special expertise, and consider if a position switch may be in order.

3. The Ship Is Sinking

When a ship starts to hit rocky seas for an extended period of time—it’s only natural to start worrying if it will stay afloat. And if you doubt the people steering the ship know what they’re doing, it may be time to get off at the next dock. In case you’re not following me here—if you think the company you’re working for may be failing and the senior leadership is driving it into the ground, it may be time to start preparing for your next step.

Alternate Options: Assess if the situation is truly dire, or if the office chatterbox is just being over-dramatic. Chum up to the accountant or bookkeeper, and be on the lookout for signs of serious distress from them or your boss to gauge the outlook. At a minimum, if you sense impending disaster, start putting your feelers out for new opportunities so you have a life raft ready. This means brushing up your contact list, LinkedIn profile, and resume.

4. You’re Not Given the Resources to Do Your Job Well

You know you could do so much more for the organization, but you simply don't have the tools, equipment, support, or opportunities to do so. This usually doesn't mean they don't see your potential, but it may mean that they can’t (or don’t want to) put in the time or money to help you help the company and therefore move forward in your career.

Alternate Options: Show how the cost of the resource you want will ultimately make your organization money. That's the real value to your boss. Will it save you hours of time, which you can use to do more projects? Will it help you deliver more, quality work that raises client satisfaction and retention?

5. You’re Not Learning and Growing

Just like not having the tools or resources to do your work can cause problems, so can having your growth stunted, stalled, or slowed down. If you're not challenged or given opportunities to learn and grow in your job, it may be time to seek employment in an organization that actually will support your personal and career growth.

Alternate Options: Learning something new is an investment in yourself and your career. If your employer isn't investing in your continued learning, take it upon yourself to find a mentor in your field, and ask them to share their expertise with you. You can also begin to teach yourself. Buy a Kindle (or dig up that library card) and start reading books recommended by thought leaders and respected colleagues in your field. You can also take classes, attend conferences, and go to workshops to continue your education on your own time and dime (or, better yet, see if your employer will help foot the bill for a conference you think will benefit the company).

6. It’s Not the Right Fit

Things change: bosses change, markets change, jobs change, and your life situation changes. What may have been the perfect job before, may not be working anymore . And that’s okay.

If you feel your job or career isn't aligning with your hopes, dreams, goals, and objectives for your life, it's time for a serious work-life evaluation (which could result in a job change).

Alternate Options: Before making a major decision like changing jobs, take some time off. Often, rest and distance are the best things you can do for yourself and your work. So put in a request to use some of your vacation time ASAP, and go get a little R&R. Afterward, ask yourself if your job truly is as bad as you thought, or were you simply overworked and overdue for some time off? 

Source: The Muse

7 Steps To Handle Criticism Positively

Many people get defensive or sad when they’re criticized at work. In many cases, the workplace has no feedback culture in place and people are not trained to give or receive criticism in a constructive manner. Giving and receiving negative feedback constructively takes a LOT of practice!

The best way to receive negative feedback well is to follow these 7 steps:

1: Listen.
Actually hear what’s being said. If necessary, ask questions to make sure you understand the criticism fully.

Here’s an example:

I reiterate what she said so she knows that I was really listening and since my boss likes to teach and is very detail-oriented, I’ll ask her if she can give me a few tips on how to perform the task better and throw in a few suggestions as well to get her feedback.

I end the conversation by asking where I’m doing well so I can keep up the good work which is my way of helping her to remember where I excel.

This also shows her that out of everything that I do, she’s got few complaints and gives her the confidence to give me more responsibilities.

2: Assume good intentions
Unless proven otherwise, assume good intentions. Don’t automatically jump to the conclusion that the person criticizing you is “out to get you.” Of course, sometimes they are. If so, see below.

3: Do not get defensive and start making excuses.
Instead you might say what you’ve learned and what you will do differently from now on.

4: Don’t take it personally
Remember that they’re criticizing your work, not you as a person. Never take negative feedback about your work as a criticism of you as a person.

5: See criticism as help
Remember that all constructive feedback (including negative feedback) is a sign of interest and a sign that people want to help you do better. It would be far worse for people to notice you doing bad work and not say a word.

6: Don’t be too hard on yourself
Remember that everyone makes mistakes and has things to learn. Yes, that includes you. There’s nothing wrong with making mistakes, but making the same mistakes over and over because you refuse to listen to criticism and learn is not going to help you.

7: Say thank you
Thank the person for their feedback.

Never put up with attacks in the workplace

However, note that these steps only apply to constructive, well-meant criticism. Unfair and overly negative feedback is also used as a tool by bad managers and workplace bullies to demean and control others.

The wrong kind of criticism can be:

• Overly negative
• Personal attacks
• Unfair criticism for something that is not your fault or outside of your control
• Delivered in an unpleasant way

Do NOT put up with this kind of attack. If you do it will persist.

Feedback can be a gift

All constructive feedback is valuable because it gives you a chance to improve and learn. Positive feedback is easier and more fun (and sadly undervalued in most workplaces) but negative feedback and criticism can be a fantastic thing as long as we do it right.

In fact, many employees I’ve talked to simply wish for more feedback of any kind. They feel like they work in a vacuum where no one ever notices their efforts, good or bad, and this makes it almost impossible to know whether or not they’re doing good work.

Source: The Chief Happiness Officer Blog